Spoilers: Season 8 "The Letter"
Complete: No it's not.Don't know if it ever will be.But I'll try, if you want me to Please oh please oh please let me know what you think of this.Yes I'm begging but I haven't written anything in SO long I've got some anxiety going on here.Is it even worth me working on this?
Disclaimer: I'm not completely sure where this is going but I've got some good ideas.I'll alert ya if we head towards NC-17.I do love my fanfic smut
Timing, that was the reason she gave Susan Lewis.
"Carter and I didn't work out because of timing," said Abby Lockhart to her bottle of Miller Lite."Yeahhhhh, right."
She couldn't believe that people were so blind.Of course, she didn't make it easy for them to see.She was married once, to that idiot Richard, there was the Luka/Carter thing plus a good handful of other "relationships" thrown in to distract her from life.But "Hello?!" couldn't they see that she never really took part in those.Well, she took part in the bedroom but the rest of the time they were her pals, her buddies.The guys she had a chat with, a blowjob and at one time a beer.
"Seems that time has returned," she said to her glass friend with a shake of her head.Sometimes she wondered how no one noticed that it was all only a distraction from the truth, like white emu or whatever that damn analogy was.
It wasn't that she was some raging dyke like that firefighter Weaver had been seeing.But at the same time she didn't try to hide the way the Chief once had.Besides, there wasn't really anything to hide.Until now, anyway.
She first noticed her attraction to Susan the day of that that god-awful meeting they were forced to attend.She had always held a bit of animosity towards the doctor for various reasons.Anyone could see Carter was a big part of the problem, but Abby couldn't help believing some of the scuttlebutt that Susan was bound to break up Mark and Elizabeth.Whether that was going to happen someday anyway was beside the point.But that morning in the dim, nicotine free classroom something changed.
It wasn't some big revelation.Abby had been attracted to women before but she had always chalked it up to some sort of weird Electra thing.It wasn't like she was a lesbian.
It was funny though, she thought as she reflected with her beer, Susan almost seemed like she was flirting with her.Like when they guys started fencing.Had they been trying to impress them?
"If they are, it's not working."
Abby smiled at the recollection of Susan's face in the humor of the moment as she walked to the kitchen to retrieve another beer."And she is pretty cute..."
It was past her lips before she even realized what she was saying.
"Well, she is," she said as she cracked the new bottle."Just because I think Susan Lewis is cute doesn't mean anything..."
And she almost believed herself.
The morning had rolled along at a steady clip, but Susan didn't mind.She finally reached a point where a restroom break was possible.Not that she need the facilities per se, just a moment to catch her breath, splash a little water on her face and recount the recent news from Joe.
It had been three weeks since Chloe had left her standing in a New York hospital.Finally, her sister's husband had found his wife and stepdaughter in a motel in some little place called Elmira, hours from New York City.They had been found.Suzie was fine.Her heartbeat slowed for the first time in a month knowing that her niece was safe, not dead somewhere next to junkies.Now, she could really concentrate with out distraction.Accept for the Abby thing.That day of the sexual harassment class she had felt something again. Something heated, something she had once considered not normal.
She had never dated a woman, had sex with one, felt any inkling to pursue a relationship with one until just months before she returned home to Chicago.
She had told Abby that Dix was the reason she had returned to the Windy City.And it was the truest thing she had said in regards to her return.Dix was an honest to god cowboy, just like she'd said, especially when she was wearing her stallion strap-on with her Stetson and chaps."A tanker truck full" of chemistry between the two of them...that didn't even begin to cover it.
"Dix Dicks," Susan said as she smiled at her reflection.That was the sign Dix had pasted on the door to her spare room.It was a shrine of sorts to her dildos, books and sexual paraphernalia.It was a bit of a shock the first time Susan had the opportunity to peruse the contents of that room.The memory was...exciting, exhilarating but also... she shook her head to remove the thoughts of her former lover.It was time to go back to work anyway.
"Hey Carter," she said, as she caught sight of her John Carter as she stepped into the hallway."They found Chloe and Suzie."
"Really," Carter asked.Susan had been so strained with all that had occurred recently, but now that they had been found and maybe some part of his friend would return.
"Where," he asked as she fell in step beside him.
"Upstate New York.Chloe stayed in a motel there..."
Susan had nearly finished her Sacrificial Virgin when she leaned over and giggled, whispering into Abby's ear, "I really need to use the bathroom but I don't think I can find it on my own."
"I've had two of these things.You think I can?!" God, she has nice teeth...nice lips.
"C'mon," Susan whined still in her ear. "I need help getting out of my coconut bra."
Abby pulled back and looked at her face.Was she flirting? "And you think I can help you with that?"Abby swallowed hard.
Susan leaned back in, her lips fluttering on the edge of Abby's cheek."I have the feeling you're just the person to help me."
"Can you believe Weaver brought her girlfriend," Susan asked from with in her stall.The entire room maintained the tropical island/ headhunter motif with vines, trees, flowers and a particularly creepy looking toucan that sat perched on top of the paper towel dispenser.Abby kept waiting for it to say, "Nevermore."
"Well, wouldn't you," Abby said casually.She mentally slapped herself on the forehead.Jeez Abby, you couldn't have picked a better day to start flirting with Susan Lewis.
"Wouldn't I what?" Susan queried as she flushed and exited the stall.
Oh, what the Hell.Give Mark Greene the thrill he never got in life. "Wouldn't you take her out, show her off if she was your girlfriend?She is pretty hot."Abby looked at her feet attempting to appear bored.
Susan did a double take from her place at the sink."Um, well yeah, I guess she is kind of nice looking."She washed her hands."She's not really my type though."
"Not man enough?" Nervous laughter threatening to break through.
"No, actually not girlie enough.After Dix I realized I like my women more, well, feminine."
Abby picked her jaw up off the floor."Excuse me?!
"I like femme-y women," she babbled as she dried her hands.
"No, you said `After dicks...'"
"Oh Dix, you remember, "the honest to god cowboy," well, she was.Don't get me wrong; I loved that cowboy part of her but if I had to chose I'd take the girlie Dix any day."
"Wait a minute!You like women?"
"Huh?Oh my god," Susan the look of realization on her own face in the bathroom mirror before it even hit her.She looked at Abby's dumbstruck face and then the both began to laugh, hard.
"So you're not joking, "Abby asked.Holding her sides trying to stop the giggle fit that had overtaken her.
"No!I can't believe I let that slip out.I better not drink anymore.I might accidentally tell Kerry and then they'll try and drag me home to their lesbian love nest."
Abby roared."What is it about lesbians and the ER, " she said after she had calmed down some.
"Hey, I never said I was gay."
"Man," Abby continued."You, Kerry, me... there must be something in the water."
Susan's brows puckered, "Did you just say `you'?"
"Yeah, I said `You, Kerry'"
"And then you said me."
Abby flashed a grin."I already said that"
"Wait a minute," Susan raised her brows, then took a step forward efficiently trapping Abby between the sink and the paper towel dispenser.The bird looked on intently.Susan smiled, looking down to avoid the other woman's gaze."Do you like women too?"
And then she felt satin on her lips as her answer.And Susan thought, It's so soft.That's how kissing a woman was always described.In books, on the internet, on television, by men, by women, it was always that same description.But that description was always true.
Abby pressed her lips against Susan's with enough force to say, "Yes, I know I'm kissing YOU," but not so much as to imply, "I'm stupid drunk."Susan kissed back moving just enough to catch a quick breath and go back for more before Abby realized any different.Seeing she had been given the opportunity to prolong their tryst, Abby tipped her head to the right and opened a hairsbreadth to taste Susan's bottom lip.Then gently she sucked.
Susan felt as if all her bones had Jell-Ofied.She put one hand on the sink and the other in the crook of Abby's neck asking for more.
Abby mirrored her placing one hand on her neck and the other at her waist feeling the softness of her shirt, pulling her a step closer so that more of their bodies would have contact.Then she opened once again, wider this time drawing her in, biting softly.
Susan thanked god for the sturdy sink and Abby's strong presence.After a beat she opened as well, feeling the tongue follow her lead as she drew it into her mouth.She caressed it from its underside, stroking with the smooth yet textured tip of her own tongue.
This time it was Abby's turn to lose her knees.And so she almost did, wanting to collapse to the floor.Wanting to collapse onto a bed with this beautiful creature, all from one kiss.Abby pulled back.
For a few moments theirs was a silence that could not be broken, less the whisper of their breath and the thump of their hearts.The cabana music, they couldn't hear.
"Wow," Susan said throatily.
"Yeah, wow."They looked at each other and then away.Neither able to hold the others gaze.The day dreamy feeling of their kiss was usurped by the palm treed toucan-ed reality.But still they smiled.
"Ya know," Abby said."I have this urge to just drag you out of here and back to my apartment."
Susan shivered as her heart skipped a beat.She shut her eyes and leaned forward to touch foreheads with the woman before her."But?"
"But we've both had a bit to drink and I'd really prefer not to make this some one night stand.Besides, I'd rather not face the rumor mill after just disappearing together.Abby opened her eyes and pulled back, smiling reassuringly at the beauty in front of her.Yep, her lips are really nice.
"While I'd like to do something crazy right now, I know you're right," Susan agreed."So in the vein of doing things right, do you think we could maybe have lunch sometime?"
"We might want to discuss this when we're both a little bit more sober," Abby said.Why do I get the feeling she's freaking out? "But it definitely sounds like a good idea to me."
Susan heaved a small shuddering sigh and grinned."Okay, well we should probably head back out there," she said as she calmed her heart," before they come looking for us."