This is Abby/Susan slash so I'm being careful with the could probably go as R...but anyways.
SUMMARY: After Carter dies Susan turns to someone who knows Carter like she did. RATING: NC-17 / R
SPOLIERS: I highly doubt it.
ARCHIVE: Sure, Just tell me where please. DISCLAIMER: Oh, please.
Enjoy, and Please R & R!!!!!
Thanks, Lana

The Next Best Thing:

It was hard for any of us to believe. That he was gone, I mean. That he would never again walk through those swinging trauma doors in triumph or dismay.
"Cut down in his prime," I think are the words Romano used.

A thick cloud hung over the ER the day after his funeral. No one really felt like moving or talking which was what I really needed. For a while, I wished that I hadn't fallen in love with him, that I hadn't known the power of his touch. But then I realized, as incredibly corny as this sounds, that it was good while I had it, it was real, and that's what matters. So now, I was I wishing for someone who knew that same feeling and could share it with me.

That's how I came to be sitting in a corner booth at Doc Magoo's with Abby Lockhart. She'd loved Carter, I could see it in her eyes everytime Carter put his arm around me or kissed my cheek. So I'd asked her here just to talk. I didn't mean to start sobbing, it just happened. I hadn't cried too much over Carter, so maybe I was holding it in. Or maybe I just wanted to give Abby an excuse to hold me.

In any event, I bawled like a baby and Abby wrapped her arms around me, just like we were old friends. Then she did something I hadn't expected. She tipped my chin up and kissed me square on the lips. And maybe it was the stress of the events of the past few days, maybe I was suffering from impaired judgement due to working a double shift, or maybe this was what I'd hoped for in the first place, but for better or for worse, I kissed her back.

My own nerve kind of surprised even myself. I was supposed to be straight-edged, square- minded, Susan Lewis. The calm, rational one. The responsible one. I definately did not go around kissing other women I barely knew. Especially co-workers...But.

She tasted like coffee and vanilla and when she caressed my back, I didn't stop her.
And later, at my apartment, she smelled like freshly picked roses and when she slipped her hands up my shirt, I didn't stop her. And in my bed, she felt like fire in my hands and when she touched me there, I didn't stop her. And I wondered if she loved me as much as I loved her.

After, while I held her in my arms, a small voice appeared in the back of my head and asked my what I was doing with her. A part of me wanted to believe this was just a fling, but the other half of me couldn't bear the thought of letting Abby go.

So I asked her, "What now?" I guess you could say I'm not used to being happy. Not much goes right in my life, so I expected her to shrug, laugh, get up and leave me here alone the way Div did.

But like the saying goes, things rarely go as we expect. She did shrug, she did laugh, but in the end she just moved closer, kissed my lips and told me she'd like to stay if I didn't mind.

And I didn't mind.